Recently my health took another hit by getting Rhino Virus, which threw my whole body for a loop. My PFT's (Pulmonary Function tests) were the worst they have been in a long time or ever. It is pretty frightening to see a low percentage that is suppose to represent how you're breathing. It's like you have failed at life. I have always had pride in being able to bring my lung function back up. I don't like giving up. But this time, I actually felt a large struggle in the beginning, I mean I thought I felt a struggle before, but nothing compared to this, it dropped so fast and far. I had, had an appointment on 22nd and things weren't fabulous, meaning I wasn't back to my base line but I was feeling good and they had gone up since my last visit. And from the 22nd of December to the 6th of January my PFT's had gone from about 68% to 50%. And for those of you who don't really know much of what that actually means. A regular exacerbation I might go from 68% to 64% for that amount of time. I didn't even finish my Pulmonary Function Test, by second round (there is usually 3) the technician knew from my large efforts and massive amount of coughing that I would be coming in to the hospital.
I am starting to feel better, slowly but surely. Last night I was reading one of Chelsea Handlers books, I have become obsessed with her books, because they make you laugh out loud, it's like watching a hilarious chick flick but in a book form and way better. Well anyway while reading one of her books, I came upon this quote, and I don't really care what she was referring to because after seeing this quote it I felt it was very real life and connected with me.
“ Rock bottom is for sissies; I’ve hit rock bottom a dozen times. I’ve woken up next to a billy goat, for christ sake. You just don’t give up! ”
~ Chelsea Handler My Horizontal Life: A collection of one night stands
We all feel like we have hit rock bottom from time to time, from work, health, or a break up. sometimes you really don't think anyone can relate, granted Chelsea wasn't coughing her brains out, but it brought me comfort that others feel this way and of course made me laugh. I mean you might say obviously we all have our own shit we have to deal with, but from my perspective it is good to see others also have their own struggle while being real and honest.
A little blast from the past song! : )